


Falling in a Forest

by danhowellsjeans



Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: Established Relationship, Flashbacks, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, Referenced Suicide Attempt, Suicide, i'm sorry jared, reference to evan's attempt, very sad read at your own risk
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-20
Updated: 2017-08-19
Packaged: 2018-12-17 13:17:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 881
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11852373
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/danhowellsjeans/pseuds/danhowellsjeans
Summary: Jared's tired.





	1. Chapter 1

Jared had always thought the orchard was a nice place. Even after Evan had gotten hurt, Jared still appreciated the place.

It was the perfect place to die.

It was morbid, he knew. However, he was exhausted. There was so much wrong with him, so much that he despised about himself. Just today, he'd had a fight with Evan. Again. It'd been something small, but it'd pushed him over the edge.

_"Why would you go out without telling me? You know how scared I get!" Evan's face was wet with tears. The sight sent a wave of guilt through Jared, so harsh that he thought he would throw up._

_"I'm sorry, Evan...I forgot, I'm sorry..." Jared watched as his boyfriend gripped his hair, groaning._

_"It's always some excuse. Whatever, Jared. Just...whatever. Goodnight." Evan stalked off to their bedroom, leaving Jared alone with his thoughts._

He was at the base of the same tree Evan had fallen from. Or, as he knew now, had _jumped_  from. That was something that was always on Jared's mind, something that he was constantly reminded of whenever even the smallest frown appeared on his boyfriend's face. Something that he blamed himself for, because if he'd been there, if he'd stopped being an asshole long enough to notice something was wrong, the only friend he'd ever had wouldn't have tried to kill himself.

_Jared paced for an hour, trying to pull up the nerve to go see Evan. He couldn't bring himself to, not when he was the reason that he could hear the loud, clear sobs echoing throughout the house. Not when he'd hurt the only person in his life that truly loved him._

_He got in his car._

He started to climb. Branch by branch, higher and higher. Evan was right, the view really was great from up here. It was a nice sight to go out on. He reached the top branch, higher than he'd heard Evan say he climbed to. How far was he? Fifty, sixty feet? 

_High enough to kill him._  That was all that mattered, really. He looked at the ground and smiled. _Evan...I'm sorry. I love you._

He never noticed the second car by the orchard's entrance.


	2. alternate ending

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> still just as sad, this time featuring evan

Jared had always thought the orchard was a nice place. Even after Evan had gotten hurt, Jared still appreciated the place.

It was the perfect place to die.

It was morbid, he knew. However, he was exhausted. There was so much wrong with him, so much that he despised about himself. Just today, he'd had a fight with Evan. Again. It'd been something small, but it'd pushed him over the edge.

_"Why would you go out without telling me? You know how scared I get!" Evan's face was wet with tears. The sight sent a wave of guilt through Jared, so harsh that he thought he would throw up._

_"I'm sorry, Evan...I forgot, I'm sorry..." Jared watched as his boyfriend gripped his hair, groaning._

_"It's always some excuse. Whatever, Jared. Just...whatever. Goodnight." Evan stalked off to their bedroom, leaving Jared alone with his thoughts._

He was at the base of the same tree Evan had fallen from. Or, as he knew now, had _jumped_ from. That was something that was always on Jared's mind, something that he was constantly reminded of whenever even the smallest frown appeared on his boyfriend's face. Something that he blamed himself for, because if he'd been there, if he'd stopped being an asshole long enough to notice something was wrong, the only friend he'd ever had wouldn't have tried to kill himself.

_Jared paced for an hour, trying to pull up the nerve to go see Evan. He couldn't bring himself to, not when he was the reason that he could hear the loud, clear sobs echoing throughout the house. Not when he'd hurt the only person in his life that truly loved him._

_He got in his car._

He started to climb. Branch by branch, higher and higher. Evan was right, the view really was great from up here. It was a nice sight to go out on. He reached the top branch, higher than he'd heard Evan say he climbed to. How far was he? Fifty, sixty feet?

 _High enough to kill him._ That was all that mattered, really. He looked at the ground and smiled.

There was a scream from the base of the tree.

"Jared! Oh my God, what are you doing?!" Evan's voice, shaky and broken, echoed up. Jared jolted in surprise, a sudden panic rushing through him when he started to tip backwards in the tree. He caught himself before he could fall ( _why, why, so stupid_ ), and he looked down. 

"Evan? Why...are you here?" He called hoarsely. He didn't want Evan to be here. He didn't want him to see how hurt he was. ( _he didn't want Evan to see him die._ )

"Come down from there, Jared. Then we'll talk." He was pleading, obviously terrified.

"Evan, please leave." Jared responded, his voice clear. He'd come so far, he wasn't giving up now. Evan's horrified voice continued to echo from the bottom of the tree as Jared flipped to face the opposite side.

"Evan...I'm sorry. I love you."

The last thing he heard was screaming.


End file.
